I really shouldn't read certain sites on the web, it seems to just add fuel to an already worryingly high level of misanthropy that I have. I think I only do it when bored, I'm aware of how little of the garbage on the interweb I actually read. Once I've read nexus I start to think "er, what now?"
I think my all-time number 1 pet hate is people who feel the need to constantly go on and on about how intelligent they are. Well, that's not quite it, because the truly objectionable thing that comes along with it is how more often than not, people who repeatedly remind everyone about how clever they are, are actually pretty damn far removed from the intellectual heavyweight they claim to be.
It seems to me to be quite an immature thing to do. Most teenagers at some time or other during adolescence hold a belief that "nobody understands them", or that older people just aren't as clever as they are. It's quite a normal part of growing up I think, the problem lies in that a frightening number of people don't shed this belief when they reach adulthood.
I remember as a teen thinking that the fact that my parents didn't understand how to program the video, or that they couldn't use the computer meant they weren't as intelligent as young people. Yet when I hit adulthood, it became totally clear how wrong I was. Again, a normal thing I believe.
The ability to use new technology or to do the other tasks required to live in the modern world of credit cards, the internet etc. is fuck-all to do with intelligence. I wouldn't know how to handle massive fishing nets, my dad would. Just like in the future I won't understand these crazy kids and their fancy hoverboards. It's nothing to do with actual intelligence, it's just the fact that different generations have different skill-sets and grew up in different periods of time, when you had to learn different skills and trades to make your way through life.
I always hated it at uni when people would get sneery at the fact that somebody couldn't program a computer as good as them. Well done, do you want a fucking medal? Just because you know more than somebody else in a particular field does not make you their better.
Anyway, people seem to hang about on certain message boards intent on putting others down and making sure everybody knows how clever they personally think they are. You can spot them, they often have quotes from writers or politicians as the footer to their posts. You see, even though they didn't write this particular quote, they want you to know that if they were to scribble down their beliefs and points of view that it would be something as fucking clever or witty as the quote they use. Check it out, it's not a quote from a song they like, something that actually touches them in an emotional way, it'll be something a writer has said, usually proclaiming how much cleverer he is than the stupid little drones who share his oxygen.
I know a lot of extremely clever people, people who think about what they say, who back it up with knowledge and who have the courage of their convictions. Without fail, none of them are the sort who'd go around with such a nauseating air of superiority.
I guess you could argue I'm doing the same thing here, yet I am painfully aware of my shortcomings. I wish I wasn't sometimes, I may have a greater peace of mind, yet I'm willing to admit if I'm wrong. I'm fully aware I'm far from perfect, by knowing this I hope that I can correct things that I do wrong. So many people seem to walk through life unable to accept that they have any shortcomings at all. It's a dangerous and false way to be. In fact, it makes you a cunt.
It's predominantly a male thing, the need to stress your importance and power to other males in the tribe. You see it everywhere, some use the threat of violence to show their strength, other parts of society prefer to show they're the alpha-male of the sensitive tribe by continuously stressing the power of their brain.
I think it's fucking retarded, the need for man to fit into his tribe. We aren't cavemen anymore, the only reason there is still this redundant hierarchy in society is down to people feeling the need to pigeon hole themselves, and to boost their fragile esteem and confidence by attempting to claim a higher place in the man pecking order. Macho-posturing doesn't have to just involve fighting and foolish acts of faux-bravery, it can also entail endless statements about how great your intellect is. It's 2004, I don't feel the need to trace my links back to prehistoric man and explain away the fact that I'm acting like an illogical twat, down to the way early man and primates acted. We're all different, people do things based on many factors.
I think I've said it before but the world needs fewer people screaming out 'RESPECT MY BRAIN!' when there is very little to back it up. I've had enough of the gloaters and the smart-arses who delude themselves that they have vast tracks of knowledge, when if they stopped and had a look at their life they'd realise it is really nothing to shout about. Knowing tonnes of obscure facts about inconsequential rubbish (or pretending you do anyway) won't get you love, decent friends, or make you happy in the long-term. More often than not it will make people laugh at you, or avoid your company. You're a fucking bore, and the superior feeling you derive from it just makes it amusing.
I feel a lot of young people nowadays need to learn some humility, show a bit of empathy for others and be a bit more at ease with themselves. I see some who will show this humbleness or self-deprecation, so it's not totally disheartening yet the problem seems to lie when people get to their late twenties and still act like the haughty, conceited teenagers they long ago stopped being. It's not the end of your world if people perceive you to have some sort of weakness. More often that not people don't give a fuck. Decent people, the sort who are actually aware of themselves enough to allow weakness in others and see it in themselves, are not going to hold it against you that you are different than they are. Who gives it a shit? Doesn't diversity of personality, belief and experience make life fucking interesting and worth living?

A-G, A-G-R, A-G-R-O, AGRO!

It was the 2nd game in our inter-departmental football competition on Tuesday. We drew 3-3 and it was quite a good game, I played quite well for spells of it. The grass is a bit lush on there and wearing trainers due to the fact that the pitch is rock-hard makes it difficult to keep your feet sometimes. I went for a burton about halfway through the second half and jarred my knee. It's okay now but I went off as we had substitutes waiting and running was quite painful.
I wish I hadn't, I ended up being the linesman. I don't have the concentration for this job, I found myself staring at the clouds when I should have been in-line with our last defender. Well anyway, it was 3-3 and we were under loads of pressure. When I was paying attention I found myself giving the benefit of doubt to our team. Hee hee.
The opposition team were a gobby lot, way over-competitive for what is a fucking piss poor kick-about. About two minutes from the end one of their players just kept the ball in from going out for a throw-in. I don't know why but I instinctively put my flag up. The guy called me a cheat and demanded I admit it.
Now, I am willing to admit mistakes but not under confrontational circumstances. So I denied it. This inflamed the gobbiest twat on their team who started calling me a "fucking cheat". So I smiled and winked at him. He then tried to get past his team-mates to get at me. Hee hee, he ended up being booked. He scowled at me at the end of the game, along with some others on his team, I just smiled to myself. I did feel kind of bad about giving a wrong decision but they were so up themselves in demanding that I admit it, so I dug my heels in and lied through my teeth.

It's Marie's last day at work today before she starts her new job on Tuesday. I knew she'd end up crying at people saying goodbye and early reports show that I am right "big-style". Her desk has been filled with balloons, and there are posters up saying how much people will miss her. Poor soppy Marie.
I suppose I'd be quite sad to leave people who I liked at work. I know I have a few really good friends here. I guess the fact that I'd still see them outside work, allied with the fact that I fucking hate this place would mean that any leaving day for me would pass with a big grin on my chops.
I'd love to do what a guy did at BAe several years ago. When this guy left he filled his office with a magazine he'd made. I read a copy of it a couple of years ago and it's quite brutal, ripping into certain managers and employees without holding anything back.

Hmm, Liam was taking pictures on Saturday night. It has since come to my attention that I may have posed for a David Brent style photo. He seems quite keen to get these pictures on the net, I may have to go into hiding for a while.

Paul* came round for tea last night, we had the usual chilli. I tried to make it a really hot batch, it did taste quite spicy, I think I'll see if it truly had the expected effect when I wander to the toilet later on this afternoon. We ended up playing LotR Risk which I bought at the memorabilia fair a few weeks ago when I was felling all giddy. I ended up winning in the end, due to a mixture of none of us knowing the rules and Paul's staggering bad luck when rolling the dice. I've never seen anybody roll so many 1's before, the highlight of which was a triple snake-eye whammy. I think I like Risk anyway, it was fun.

What else have I been doing lately? I've been filling in CD gaps in my collection by scouring ebay for missing Suede, Manics and Bluetones singles. A big batch of them turned up yesterday, it's shit at the moment though because the post is so fucking awful. CDs ordered online from Hong Kong turn up in a couple of days, whilst letters from Preston take over a week to arrive. I think all the posties gather round in a circle and piss over the letters whilst laughing.

*People with the 'I-Spy Book Of Glenn' should note that this is Paul 1, which scores two points. You do however score a bonus point for chilli being served.

The Nexus Big Night Out

Yesterday (one word in, and i spell the word wrong) we celebrated Paul becoming 27, as mentioned a couple of blogs ago.
We went paintballing in the afternoon, it was quite good fun, but maybe we shouldn't have put all the hardcore killers on one team, and the ambivalent, blind and useless people on the other. I was on the latter team and we got hammered in every game. Paintballs leave a bruise, this I have discovered. In one game I got hit in the arm, I raised my hand to signal i'd been hit, but then got shot again in the face. The paint went through the air vent in the protective mask, which was quite disorientating. I span round and then got shot twice in the back. I blame that sneaky John Woodhouse character.
I used all my shots in each game (50 is not enough), yet had an appaling aim. I got Paul a couple of times but seemed to be cannon fodder for anyone who wanted a pop at me.
Paul seemed to really enjoy it which heartened me.
Last night we went to The Mill for more celebrations. Maybe i'm hungover and the full horror hasn't hit me but I thought it was an ace night.
We didn't dance enough, though there were several songs where we all ended up on the dancefloor. I liked it when we invaded the stage as well, though to others it must have looked like a bunch of really drunk people falling over.
I think we were all truly pissed, I remember Paul's bristly face kissing my head, and I think pictures were taken throughout the night which will bring embarassment if they ever see the light of day.
I hope Pete is okay, as we left he somehow ran head first into a wall. It must have hurt. We lost Woody Johnhouse as well, he vanished completly into thin air. Maybe he went back to his home planet.
I'm sat downstairs now. Karl is lying on the sofa nearby, and Liam makes occasional gargling noises from the inflatable mattress in the back room. I think Marie is washing the sick out of her hair, Sian still seems to be asleep, Xian seems to be plotting world domination on his handheld computer thing. A houseful!

Yesterday was a good day and has left me with a warm glow.