Temporarily closed for re-think

I'm playing in the first game of the inter-department football competition in just over half an hour.
I feel I may have lied to Nick a bit in telling him that i'm in peak physical condition. I feel in about thirty-five minutes he'll have worked out that i'm a big liar.
Full glorious report tomorrow.

I went swimming yesterday. I'm not really sure why, i've never been able to swim, i think it's because people always go on and on about it being a good way to improve fitness. Anyway for the first time in my life I went into the deep end of a swimming pool. *Gasps*
I've invented my own stroke ya see, it's a combination of breast stroke, front crawl and drowning. I like to call it the JEREMY IRVINE MEMORIAL STROKE in honour of the kid who drowned in the Grange Hill swimming pool back in the eighties.
I used to love Grange Hill, I thought it was fantastic when I was a little un'. It had lots of characters to root for or hate and was full of memorable moments, to me it was the pinnacle of childrens programming until it became all PC and started dealing with "issues". Fuck that shit!
In all of the films and TV programmes i've seen, I don't think there has ever been a villain as sinister and as full of pure evil and malevolence as Gripper...
Anyway, I didn't drown, it just merely showed up how unfit I am. Next time though i'll remember to take a towel. Spacker!
One thing I did find a bit disappointing but not entirely unexpected is how lacking in manners kids seem to be nowadays.

No weekend report as nothing is worth reporting.

Bubble, simmer, simmer, bubble.

My so-called friends
Where are they now
I guess a love that bends
Isn’t worth much anyhow

They come and go
And talk their shit
And when I really need to know
All I get is spit in my eye

Some people want to know
All about my history
And no one seems to care
That none of it’s noteworthy

I’m hardly phased anymore
By your classless ways
It takes more than that to amaze me
These days

And it doesn’t really bother me
I just cut out any part of me
That’s been bruised

Something said today made me believe Preston may be the most incestuous place on earth.