In The Midnight Owl, She Cried T'Wit T'Woo
I don't enjoy spending 37 hours a day (plus travelling time) stuck at work. I'm not alone, and if you have a job that you enjoy then I'm slightly envious.
Still, my job is better than it was at the start of the year.
At the start of 2005 I was effectively demoted. Our team was downsized and I was stripped of the responsibilities I had. We had a new boss who took on all the duties of our old boss, as well as those that I performed as the senior permanent employee on the team.
It was fair enough, I had a problem with the fact that they'd downsized us at just the wrong time, but I accepted that I'd lose some of the responsibilities with a new manager in a smaller team. It's the way things go at BAe, and I realised that I'd have to move on if I wanted to retain the same sort of level of responsibility.
Within a few weeks of the management change we were given our first appraisal. This was when things went wrong. I was given the lowest grading in the team, and the lowest rating I've had in my 8 years at BAe. Our new boss was technically inept; he didn't overly understand software and had virtually no knowledge of the Nimrod fuel system. When you're boss of the Nimrod fuel software team, that's a bit crap.
I believe he based the grading on what he understood. Producing documents and config control. I was never involved in document generation before, that was daft as I was responsible for the largest amount of the fuel software, so the task was delegated to somebody else with the experience and time to do it. When our new boss took over, he expected me to produce documents. I gave it a go but there were teething problems, as it's a laborious task more suited to those who get a thrill out of config tools.
Anyway, the boss nodded as I outlined in my appraisal that I was responsible for the largest part of the fuel software, and that he had decided to give me all the work of an engineer we'd lost at Christmas on top of that. He still gave me a low grading though. Maybe there were some personal issues in there, I didn't think that at the time but that became clearer later.
Anyway, I responded to the appraisal by writing what I'd outlined in speaking to the boss. I didn't resort to any insults, I just suggested that maybe the guy wasn't aware that I looked after the larger and more complex parts of the system, and that he hadn't had time to realise what my job entailed just yet.
I thought I'd been fair, probably overly fair, after all I think I had the right to complain.
He saw my comments and wrote some more of his own, claiming that I shirked jobs (a lie), that I had a confrontational attitude (hmm, maybe, but never unjustly), and that I'd refused to take back some of my old responsibilities (a twisted half-truth based on the fact that he'd suggested I did the appraisals of a couple of the team, which I refused as I thought it was really unfair on them, which it was). There were some more, and it was interesting to see he'd descended into insults.
I then refused to sign my appraisal off, alarming all the big bosses (who get freaked at this sort of thing as it's linked to their bonuses). I had a meeting with the boss and the big boss lady, in which I tried to outline my point. He sat there with a face on, whilst she just pointedly refused to listen to what I had to say. I ended up swearing at them and walking out.
Heh, winner. That really improved the atmos at work. I didn't really feel like coming in anymore. I think the big boss lady did actually agree with me, but lacked the bottle to undermine the new boss of the team.
So, it was grim for a couple of weeks but then the boss fell ill.
It's seven months later and he's still not back. We know very little, just that it's a "virus", but he apparently won't be back till next year. Some think that it may be stress (oops), but I suspect it probably is just a bad illness. I hope he gets better, and I don't hold a personal grudge. I wouldn't wiosh ill on the guy. I have made it clear though that I will not work under him again. I think this has been accepted.
Anyhow, the reason I'm writing this is that I got my old responsibilities back due to his illness, and as it's become more and more long-term, I have it in a more permanent way. So, I've been demoted, promoted and then sort of promoted again all in 9 months.
It's a poisoned chalice though, as due to rampant mismanagement (not mine, not yet anyway) we'll never meet our deadlines for later in the year. Maybe I'll have to get my own virus to get out of the mess that awaits us.
Poker news. Look away now, non gamblers!
A game of two halves last night. I'm quite a conservative player, one who never trusts the odds, even when they're stacked vastly in my favour. It's what comes of being a gloom-laden pessimist I guess. When I did play the odds, I was beaten with some atrocious luck on the river card. I was beaten three times in a row in hands that the evil gods of probability stated that I should have won. One was so ludicrous that the guy who won typed in 'hahaha, sorry' into the text chat system.
I'd started with about 15 nicker, but was down to about 4. The losses against the odds had withdrawn me even further into my shell, and I was gradually being whittled away.
As I got nearer to being out of it though, I abandoned my usual way of playing and became far more open and adventurous. I became less protective of my measly stack of coins. In about 20 minutes, I turned the 4 squid into about 25, chasing the money of the rash players who try to play an overly aggressive game, and refusing to back down when it looked like I should win the hand. Ah, if only I could easily put aside 31 years of mistrust and doom-mongery, then I'd be quite a good player.
