Why Can't I Sing Anymore?

When I was younger I thought I had a good voice. In fact, I did have a good voice. But, a mixture of shyness and this block I have on demonstrating something I think I’m good at (in case people think I’m shit) meant that I never let anyone hear me. It was only people hearing me when I thought nobody was there who’d confirm that my voice was good.
Anyway, I always sing in the car and have noticed that over the last 5 years that my voice has deteriorated considerably. And, thanks to the weekend purchase of Singstar, I now have confirmation about how bad it has gone. Jesus, I sounded awful and was unable to hit notes that should have been easy. I dunno, it made me sad for a bit as it was something I used to be good at, but some factor or two (drink, aging, knackered sinuses?) has ruined that.
Never mind, I’ll find something else I’m good at. Maybe I have a natural talent for lacrosse. I certainly have a natural talent for being lachrymose.
Oh dear. Sorry.

I think I mentioned that I wasn’t going to write personal things in here. But, I guess I am alluding to events in a vague way and to ignore things going on in my life is slightly disingenuous and means I only update this if I think I have something funny or stupid to write about. I know blogs are old hat now but I quite like writing and it passes a bit of time when I’m meant to be doing other things. I’m sure you know what I mean.
So, yeah, the ban is lifted. It’s not like I’m going to write anything that might upset someone or something that they wouldn’t like anyone to know. Pouring out grievances on the interweb is a terrible thing to do. For all concerned. Plus, I don’t think I really have any grievances left.
But I was reading some of my old blog the other day and enjoyed the reminders of things I’d done.
Sooo…

At the start of this year I was genuinely quite happy. And things got better as I fixed a friendship that had been broken for too long, had a great experience doing the Preston FM thing and everything seemed to be moving in the right direction.
I was single but genuinely happy being. I kind of assumed that I wouldn’t get involved in a serious relationship with anyone again, but that was okay with me. It is what I’d settled for.
Lol, then at the start of May, John got a new lodger. Who I got to know. And started to like. And who I thought kind of liked me, but I’m not brave enough or riddled with ego enough to believe that anyone would like me. Especially when they’re obviously out of my league. Anyway, what followed was a retarded few weeks in which Hannah and I skirted round each other, trying to make it obvious that we liked each other, but not making any sort of move. It really was like some sort of mawkish American film, in which two people sit around talking bollocks for hours, sit on swings in the park at 5am and try to find each other an ideal partner in the Guardian singles adverts until the girl eventually cracks and makes a move, rather than waiting for the stupid boy to get over his shyness and neuroses. You know, just like that film.
So, yeah, I’m even happier. 2007 has been grand so far, a few external annoyances but I think these will drift away with time.