Drugs, hmm, they tend to make people act like a twat, so I steer clear nowadays.

You big fucking liar.

Jo Taylor gave birth to a baby girl Grace Constance at 7.30am this morning.
Yay!
I feel oddly giddy and may do a celebratory dance.

no more drink and / or magic things for Glenn.

I’m bored shitless today. I’m not exaggerating, as I’m prone to do either, I really am so bored that the prospect of a second poo to pass five minutes is mighty appealing. I have work to do but I’m running so far ahead of programme that if I do it I could end up making myself superfluous. So I’ll save that till later in the week, that way I’ll only be 51 weeks ahead of schedule, as opposed to a whole year.
So what do I do to fill the day? Write a blog, play for too long on the interweb, and meticulously read the inlays of all the CDs on my desk. Exciting!
Still I can go home in just over three hours.
It doesn’t help that I’m in charge of our team this week, I don’t have to do anything special but I sort of feel the need to actually look busy; to “inspire the troops” you may say. Why the fuck you’d leave somebody in charge whose biggest achievement of the day so far is creating a stunning sheet-full of doodles is beyond me.
It doesn’t help that I can’t join in today’s email conversation, whereas I receive all electrickery communication from Marie, Liam, Dave, Karl et al virtually instantaneously, it seems that all my mail out is delayed for several hours. Maybe whilst they check my poorly spelt dribblings for hidden codewords or government secrets.
Fuck off word! I hate the way it goes along correcting grammar and spelling because it thinks its helping. Almost 10% of the poorly used English in what I’m writing is intentional.
I’m in the middle of a dispute with countrywide assured, or cuntyshite arsepoohead as I could call them if I was a child; which I am. Anyway, they’ve knackered up my mortgage by removing the repayment half (50% repayment, 50% endowment) without my permission. If they’d moved me to a full endowment, that would have been bad enough, but instead they thought it’d be a good idea to remove half of the repayment method but leave the other unchanged. It’s a long and incredibly dull story but what it would have meant was that in 21 years time I would have had to stump up 25 grand to cover the big fucking hole in my mortgage. So I’ve complained. I’m currently compiling a dossier of evidence which hopefully will lead to them stumping up some cash to cover the fuck-up.
John at work says that I’ve gone compensation crazy, that I’ve started “looking for other people to fund your lavish lifestyle”. Hey, I’ve made one insurance claim in my life!
This was after a car accident at the end of 2002 (anus horrible) which was settled a few months ago, er….favourably. I don’t think I’ve said anything about that in my blog before, I guess I didn’t want to jinx it.
Hang on, need to change CD….
Dave is making tea for us tonight, it’ll be nice. I suspect there will be a big bowl of salad and some roast parsnips.
We went down to the midlands this weekend, the main reason was to go to Jayne and Steve’s one-year-old nippers birthday Izzy. There were loads of babies and toddlers there, it was thoroughly frightening. Kids, especially the really small ones, don’t follow any logic; you can’t predict how they are going to act. Most normal people can happily be in a social situation with cute small random people, I find it really unsettling spending time with people I can’t predict. I also had the fear that I’d trip and crush one, or that a head would accidentally be removed and somebody would pin the blame on me. It went okay though, I was definitely not responsible for any accidents. I also have to admit that the kids were quite sweet and relatively non-annoying.
We saw Dawn Of The Dead last night. It was ace! Hee hee, I sat with a big stupid grin on my face from virtually start to finish. Bar a slight thought that there could have been more blood and guts (it wasn’t braindead), I enjoyed every minute of it; especially the ending. I had to laugh at the fact that about twenty minutes into the film that some people started walking out. What did they expect? It was called ‘Dawn Of The Dead’, it obviously wasn’t going to be a romantic comedy. Freaks!
I’m having strange dreams of laptops. The desktop at home is starting to die, it takes about five minutes to start up and makes a funny groaning noise. I think it may have caught a laziness contagion off Marie and myself. I guess it hasn’t helped that I punch it really hard when it pisses me off. Ooops.
Anyway, it’s dying and will need replacing soon. I’ve fallen in love with the idea of buying a top-spec laptop and running wireless broadband in the house. The thought of sitting in the garden or watching the TV whilst playing on a speedy laptop is exciting. No more anti-social computer use in the house. Yay! We’ll see what happens…