“Eets all over tha front page, yuuu give me rrrrroad rage”.

It’s hard to type a welsh accent and the above example is quite, quite poor. I should have added the word boyo at the end.
My car attracts a lot of trouble on the road. Mainly I think due to the fact that it looks like a bog-standard Citroen Saxo to anyone who doesn’t recognise these sort of things. Yet it isn’t, it accelerates faster than your standard BMW. I think that’s one of the reasons they don’t like me, I’m constantly getting trouble off them. The other main reason of course is that most drivers of BMWs are total twats.
I come across a lot of drivers who put their foot to the floor whilst I overtake them quite normally, probably to try and scare me off. Some kids stuffed in “daddies” Volvo tried it over Christmas…didn’t work sadly, you little cocks.
I don’t get it really, I drive quickly but I never intimidate people on the road. It seems to be getting worse as well, in the last eleven years of driving, manners on the road have deteriorated considerably. People seem to be obsessed in getting the next car ahead on the road.
This was demonstrated perfectly this morning, when I wasn’t even driving my car. I’ve been in Marie’s chuggabus the last few days as my car needs a new radiator. This car also seems to attract a lot of trouble and I had two such incidents this morning.
I was driving down Blackpool road overtaking a slow moving car. Behind me a sporty –and shit looking- Fiat Punto was driving up my arse, waiting for me to move over. When I’d passed the car he cut in violently to undertake me, yet the daft twat hadn’t spotted another slow moving car in that lane. So he was stuck and had to wait till I got past it before he could pull out again. This led to him waving at me with his fist and mouthing expletives. I pulled in after I’d overtaken this second car, the twat overtook me and gave me some more abuse and hand gestures. I just laughed and pulled stupid faces, hoping to enrage him even more.
Anyway, as I pulled into the work car park, who should walk past me but the driver of the Punto. We glared at each other, as I walked in I started to catch him up and he kept glancing over his shoulder. I was waiting for him to say something and I could tell he was considering it. Hee hee, I felt disappointed when he didn’t say anything, I had several foul-mouthed insults prepared in my head.
It’s okay because I now know where he works…and also where his car is parked.
The second incident involved a BMW. So deserves to die.
We were approaching a roundabout and I was in the correct lane. It’s quite slow moving so Mr. BMW behind me got impatient, pulled into the wrong lane and jumped about ten cars ahead in the queue by cutting into the right lane at the last moment without signalling. Now I see this every day at this roundabout, it annoys me, oh yeah it annoys me, but today especially as the BMW honked his horn and waved his fist in a dismissive way at me as he passed.
What the fuck did he want? Did he want me to move out of the correct lane as he was a fucking VIP in his shiny red shit machine? If you’re in an old car do you have to give precedence to someone driving a car which screams out “I AM A TINY-COCKED TWAT WHO THINKS THIS CAR MAKES UP FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE A CHROMOSONAL IMBALANCE WHICH MAKES ME MOLEST OLD MEN IN THE PARK. RESPECT ME! RESPECT MY SHINY RED SPOILER!”
Hee hee, I didn’t get it anyway. I think when people get in their cars, they often leave behind the reason and logic parts of the brain.
Well…
I had to go back to the doctors yesterday. Boo!
He phoned on Tuesday, telling me to make an appointment. Apparently the urine sample I had to give last week when I was ill has shown up a non-related pathogen. They don’t know what it is yet, I had to give a second sample yesterday.
It could have been contaminated, if not, I’ll have to see a urologist who’ll check out my bladder and kidneys. I actually surprised myself by pressing the doctor for details about what it may be. He said it could be a bladder of kidney infection, or could be down to one of my kidneys not working properly.
I suspect that it’s bugger all….which for a hypochondriac is a hard thing to say.
I have no symptoms, I have no pain, no fever anymore and don’t feel sick. My strength returns, yet last week when I gave the first sample I was horrendously de-hydrated and filled with fever. I also didn’t follow recommended guidelines for producing a sample.
I’ll find out next week anyway. It is fairly depressing and I’m getting bored in worrying about myself.
Hee, he seems quite a perceptive doctor. He constantly senses that I’m a worrier, and tells me to stop imagining the worst case scenario in my head. I don’t think he understand though, that my worst case scenario is generally worse than the average persons. I think I’ve only ever met my mum who can think of more horrendous possibilities for a situation than me. She has taught me well…