ChilleX

We were talking yesterday about the medicinal properties of chillies. I always find spicy food helps in getting rid of a hangover – it helped on Sunday – and others believe that they can be used in alleviating cold symptoms. Then somebody brought up that there was some medicinal evidence that chillies can reduce cancerous tumours. Is this a widely known fact?
If not then I have an idea how me can make some money my friends. In fact, the cancer killing properties of chillies don’t even have to be true, as long as we insist that the things “may” cure you of cancer then I think we’ll be onto a winner.
What I had in mind was a series of low cost devices that can be used to ward off cancer, and maybe, possibly, cure it.
With just a chilli and a piece of sellotape we’d have the equivalent of a nicotine patch. If we marketed this at people who do a lot of sunbathing then we could say that the chilli patch had similar effects to sun-cream in preventing skin melanomas. Beaches would be full of scantily clad people wearing our chilli patch on their arm, a sweet chilli for those who want to tan, but with maybe a jalapeno or a scotch bonnet for those who require a bit more protection. This is more in the basic low-cost / high mark-up “prevention” market stream of our business.
We could then develop and market some more specific cures for those unfortunates to have a tumour. For instance, if we carved out an orange and smeared some crushed up chilli paste on the inside of the peel then we’d have an effective device for helping to cure testicular cancer. Just pop the ballbag into the orange and feel the invigorating feeling of the device getting to work.
The possibilities seem endless.